What Queen B does for me

I don’t have to explain why she is the queen right? If you find yourself thinking ‘uhm, yes you do’, then please go to You Tube and summon ‘Beyoncé. Come back to this column after about fifteen minutes of being properly awed and we are good to go. Because let’s face it, Beyoncé Knowles is amazing. She is a super talented singer, songwriter and dancer and a smart business woman. She is also crazy beautiful and ‘Drunk in love’ must the sexiest song ever. On top of all that, she is a sweet mom and loving wife. So yes, all hail to the queen. I am one of her doting bee’s.

Beyoncé I have been listening to her latest album ‘Lemonade’ on repeat ever since it was released in April. I’ve listened to it every morning on my way to work. Every time I was dreading a certain meeting or felt insecure about an interaction with a co-worker, her music made me feel like a Boss. “Yo operator, or innovator/Fuck you hater, you can’t recreate her no/You’ll never recreate her no, hero.” Suddenly I was someone not to be messed with. Someone who had enough confidence to take on the day. Her singing makes me feel like a real woman (if you are wondering what that means, ‘a real woman’, just listen to some more Beyoncé- songs and you’ll get the feeling).

Beyoncé gives me energy. I have been blessed with a baby that hasn’t slept through the night once since the day she was born. On a good night I’m up twice, on a bad one, well, I lost count. But a little ‘I was here’ followed by some ‘Runnin’’ and I can do the impossible. Last month I painted the whole attic while listening to Bey. My daughter was in the Ergobaby, on my back (don’t worry; water based, organic paint, windows open). We danced and painted together. She fell asleep to “Daddy lessons”. Yes, the queen also relaxes us.

This was the case ever since she was a tiny baby. She had terrible tummy cramps, like most babies in the first three months of their life. Parts of the day she was in discomfort and cried a lot. I would put her in a sling and dance to ‘Get me Bodied’. The singing and dancing and being close to mommy calmed her down. Those first months as a mama were quite exhausting and overwhelming at times, but the queen was there to help us through it.

Isaya and Kari Now, I realize there is an expiration date on how long I can get away with singing lyrics like ‘You ain’t married to no average bitch boy/you can watch my fat ass twist boy/As I bounce to the next dick boy’ in front of my daughter. Because you know, that’s bound to raise some questions someday. But for now I feel like I can get away with it. It’s such a good song.

I can relate to Mrs. Carter, to what she sings, even though we couldn’t be more different. Apart from the whole super sta thing, I am not a straight, black woman who’s been cheated on. Literally the opposite: a gay, white woman in a monogamous marriage to a faithful woman. But it does not matter. Beyoncé understands my soul. We are both moms and women. Queen B is my therapy.

Thanks for reading

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