Yesterday I wrote a Dutch blogpost about a decision we made. I got a lot of DM’s from my not-Dutch readers en Instagram friends asking “what’s going on?”. So I wanted to write a little post in English as well, explaining what is going on. Isaya turned 4 on Saturday, as many of you know. We decided that, starting this summer, I will no longer post recognizable pictures of her, on my Instagram and blog. In this post I will explain why.

I will keep it short & sweet, because Alela was up all evening and night yesterday due to teething, so my brain is on the floor and she is sleeping skin on skin in the babycarrier right now, so I think I may melt.

What it comes down to is this:

Isaya turned four and will start school after the summer. I love taking her picture, because I think she and her sister are the most darling and gorgeous thing in the world. Usually Isaya enjoys it too. Over the past year I did start asking if she was okay with me taking her photo. Sometimes she would say yes – and I would shoot – and sometimes she would say no – and I would hold back. But asking her permission for a photo, doesn’t mean she understands what I will do with it. She is not choosing to be online, in the spotlight.

Quick disclaimer,

before I continue: I do not judge moms and dads that share photos or video’s of their kids online. I truly believe that is your own choice. I love following moms and dads that post pictures of their adorable kids. I loved being a mom that did that too and I kinda wish I could still be that mom. But I feel like I would not be honoring Isaya anymore if I did.

And here is why.

Partly because she is – more and more – becoming herself. She is Isaya. Her face, her movements, the way she talks, the things she says, does, her expressions. She is becoming her own human. Of course she will change more and her face will change too, but she is so undeniably and recognizably Isaya. She is beautiful and if she wants she can show the world. But she also has the right not too. I don’t feel like I can make that decision for her, right now. She also starts school after the summer and I feel it’s more “fair” and safe if she can do that with more anonymity.

Sharing without caring

Another thing that got me thinking is the fact that more and more companies think it’s okay to repost pictures without asking. By this I do not mean the companies I work with of course. I mean webshops from all over the world that do tag me (that’s something), but don’t ask in advance. This makes me realize I have zero control over these photos. And I’m sure there are also accounts that repost my pictures without tagging me.

Following my gut

All of this has made me think it is the best thing for Isaya, right now, to not share any recognizable photo’s of her online anymore. I will still post pictures of her, but either from behind or with her face turned away. I will also continue to write about toys, clothes, arts & crafts ideas and books for kids her age. Everything will continue as normal, just with a little more anonymity for my eldest daughter. We have not decided this is permanently. It’s just what feels right right now.

What about Alela?

Alela is 11 months and for now we see no reason not to post pictures of her darling face online. If that feeling changes, we will revisit our decision. I hope my on-the-floor-brain was able to explain our decision concerning Isaya properly and I want to stress again that I do not judge moms and dads that do share recognizable photos of their older kids online. Thank you for for reaching out after yesterday’s post and thank you for reading. You guys are the best!