I’ve been thinking about something for a while now. Something that I have to learn over and over as a mother and a parent. Something that I am currently relearning. It really hit me again the other day, when I heard a leader of my church mention it. You know those moments when you KNOW it’s something you are supposed to learn? It was totally one of those moments. He spoke for about 15 minutes and only said these two words, one time. But it resonated with me.

Intentional Parenting…

Roll that around in your head for a minute… Active parenting. Parenting on purpose. And parenting WITH purpose. Parenting even when it’s hard, and you’re tired and you just want to take a nap.

It’s the type of parenting where you know the values that you want to teach your kids. You know the skills that you want to teach them. (Like teaching your little boys how to dig the biggest, BEST hole in all the land. Kidding. Like teaching them to be kind, even when it’s hard. Although, teaching them to dig the biggest hole is a very important skill. Haha!) And then, you get to work teaching them! And you don’t quit. Or give up. Or let someone or something else do your job.

Reducing screentime

So many times it’s all too easy to let technology do the job that parents should do. It’s so easy to let a good app teach good values and life skills… And while apps and things are good, there is something better. When we say “no” to the screens… that’s when we have the opportunity to focus on our children and actually spend that quality time that the kids are really craving. And that is when we find those tiny teaching moments.

One of the things my kids beg to watch is other people playing video games. I’m like, seriously?! You don’t want to PLAY the game? You just want to watch someone else play?? They tell me that they are learning how to get better at the game… It blows my mind every single time! In a way, this can relate to parenting. Imagine we are playing this game, and it’s called parenting and we want to be the best parents we can be but then instead of actually parenting we just watch videos about parenting and never actually do anything. OR we just put our kids in front of a video hoping they will glean the needed knowledge to be well-rounded human beings. Sounds crazy, right?! BTW, totally not bashing on educational shows… Shout out to my girl Dora and all her Exploring she does! I am suggesting a more involved type of parenting though- Intentional Parenting.

Distractions

Being a parent is so hard. It’s hard to keep at it, day after day. Night after sleepless night. It can be mentally, physically and emotionally draining. And it’s harder now than EVER. There are so many more distractions pulling us in all the directions. Our “to do” lists are longer than ever and it’s just easier sometimes to let other things or people take care of our children.

Intentional Parenting

Intentional parenting is HARD. Parenting with a purpose is TIME CONSUMING! Learning to recognize a teaching moment is sometimes like figuring out life’s greatest mysteries. But, I can tell you, finding those moments are so worth it.

The time we have our children all to ourselves is so short. Eventually they will grow up. And eventually, they may have families of their own! My oldest is 10 and I feel like it was just yesterday that they laid his big chubby self in my arms for the first time. My time with him living under my jurisdiction is more than half way over! (I actually believe that my babies will always be my babies no matter how big they are and they get to listen to what I have to say FOR-E-VER! Name that movie, lol!) I can’t even tell you how fast these last 10 years have gone! I feel like I just laid my baby down for a nap and he woke up 10 years older… I haven’t even taught him half the things I want him to know as I send him out into the world!! I guess I better get to work!

I gathered some of my best tips to help everyone be more intentional in your parenting…

1. Set an “electronic-free” time of day in your home. A time where you are all together and not distracted by phones, tablets, TVs or other electronics. My husband and I use the time after school for this. And while we aren’t perfect at this one, we feel it’s important to keep trying.
2. Read inspirational things with your kids. We try to read scriptures every night as a family. There is a HUGE difference in the days we are learning something spiritual together and the days when we miss.
3. Set aside specific times in your day to give your children you complete attention. This can be during your electronic-free time if you want!
4. Tell stories about when you were a child! There is nothing more relatable to a child than hearing about the things you did as a kid! Mistakes you made, adventures you went on, and how much candy cost when you were little! Anything!
5. Let your kids HELP YOU! Every Saturday is our cleaning day. I give my kids a list of jobs that are age-appropriate and then we all go to work and get our jobs done! We work together so we can play together! We also have our kids help with other projects around the house. Sometimes, this can be so hard. Because I know I can do it faster than my child. But, then when will they learn?

Parenting is such a HUGE responsibility. But also a HUGE blessing. I have learned more than I ever could have had I chosen not to become a mother. My husband is a crazy awesome parent. And I learn so much of all this from him because he’s already doing it. Somehow, this was ingrained in him. He thrives when he is spending time with our family. I could not have asked for a better partner in this journey called life. And as we work together we are truly finding joy in our journey.

Xoxo,
Sharee

Whether it be parenting, marriage, DIY, home décor, makeup, or yummy food, I LOVE to share all things “mom” that I learn. Follow along too if you want! www.themomhack.com and Instagram.