Well, there we go, another year has passed. It is insane how fast time goes by. I feel like the past four years went by in four months. And the past five months went by in five minutes. Of course that is because four years ago I found out I was pregnant, with Isaya. And five months ago, Alela was born. Motherhood is a huge time warp. Sometimes this makes me panic: I want to GRAB time, pull it back, hold it close, keep it from moving by so fast. Obviously, I can’t do that. Or can I…?
O how time flies
Most moms agree: the days can move slowly, but the years are gone in an instant. It’s such a strange thing to experience. There is no way to stop time or take back what has already been “lost”. But there are ways to slow down time and feel more in control. And that is by living more attentively. A popular phrase is “to live in the moment”. You probably heard that a million times and you know, in theory, how to do it. But in reality – in the every day hustle and bustle of life – it is extremely hard. That’s why I will try and stay away from that phrase.
Check out the best read English posts of 2018 here! And the best read Dutch post of 2018 here!
To be aware or not to be aware
Time flies when you are having fun. Another phrase you have heard more times than you can count and know to be true. Because of course, that is the reason why the years with kids are going by so fast. These are truly the best years of my life: I feel so incredibly blessed to have two healthy daughters. I have never been happier. Me wanting to grab time and pull it back is a sign of that. There is no reason to feel negative about something that is obviously a consequence of happiness. But there is also a longing to be more aware and to experience this time more consciously.
Attentive Motherhood
How often are we distracted, as parents, from what is in front of us? In my case, what’s in front of me, is usually an eager face, staring up at me, curious and in awe of the world. Or a wonderful question, being asked by a cute little voice. Or an adorable smile, generously directed at me. How many of those faces, voices and smiles have I experienced over the past 3,5 years? Many! I am a lucky, LUCKY girl. But how many have I missed? Too many. Because I want to miss none. I want to be there, looking (seeing!), listening (hearing!) en experiencing (feeling!) all of it. I want to be attentive, here, now, with my girls.
Distractions
There are many things that distract me, during my days with my children. “To do lists” – either things I need or want to do around the house or work related to do’s – are a “great” distraction. Boredom is another one. Don’t get me wrong. There is nowhere I’d rather be, than with right here, with my girls. I love being a mom: it is my true calling. The reason why I started working from home is so I could be with my girls, always. But making the same puzzle, reading the same book, playing the same game, having the same discussion for the tenth time that week gets old. This doesn’t make me a bad mom, it just makes me human: the human mind if fickle. It needs distractions. So it finds them.
My phone is considered a brilliant distraction by my mind. By me, not so much. Like 99% of the phone-carrying population on Planet Earth I want LESS phone time in 2019. I want that horrific weekly “screen time” pop up on my iPhone to say something like “75% less screen time” on Sunday afternoon.
Getting a Grip on Time in 2019
So, to sum it up, my New Year’s resolution for 2019 is to get a grip on time, by being more attentive as a parent. I am going to make this possible by:
- writing down my priorities, work related tasks and non-work related tasks every evening, for the next day(s). That way I can start my day with an organized mind, clear about what I want and need to do and when, so I won’t have to- do’s nagging in the back of my mind while I am playing with my kids. I have a really effective weekly planner for this.
- creating phone free blocks during the day. Apart from taking the occasional photo, there is really no need for me to pick up my phone when I am with my kids. I love posting and connecting with other parents and bloggers on Instagram during the evening or when I am working. But in 2019 #momlife will equal #nophonetime.
Happy New Year
I hope that your wishes and resolutions for 2019 will become reality. I hope that your good intentions will be rewarded. And I hope that you will find or come a step closer to your purpose and happiness. Thank you for visiting columnsbykari.com in 2018 and I hope to see you back on January 1th for the first blogpost of 2019!
