Becoming Fluent in Toddler Logic

So obviously I think my daughter is extremely smart. Every little thing she does is, well, magic. The connections her tiny little brain makes are wonderful. I am amused and amazed on a daily basis by what she does, understands and says. She is learning so quickly and I could not be more proud. But SOME things… I have trouble following a certain train of toddler thought. Toddler logic: it’s on a whole other level. The goal is to become fluent in toddler logic. This is what I have managed to decipher so far:

“Yes. I want a cookie. Yes. You can open the package for me. Nooooooooooo. You can NOT take the cookie OUT of the package for me. I want to do that. Why don’t you get that? Now I don’t want a cookie anymore. Ever.”

Toddler Logic“The other night the fire alarm went off (false alarm), but I slept right through it. Didn’t hear a thing. A few hours later my mom walked into my room. Her toe brushed against my teddy bear. It was the loudest noise ever! It took me an hour to fall asleep again. That’s how it goes.”

“No. No. No. I don’t want to eat bread. No. No. Absolutely not. O. What’s that? A toothpick? Can I eat my bread with that? I want bread. I’m so hungry!”

“I love you. Come here. You are so sweet. Hey, go away! What are you doing here. You are way too close. Go. No. Wait. Come back. I love you!”

“Whenever we are at home I want mama to be close by. I want her to be very near. I want to her pick me up. Hug me. Play with me. I don’t like it when she’s in a different room. But when we are in the supermarket, I love running away. I don’t want her to pick me up. I want to be free!”

“No. I don’t want to get out of the bathtub. No. Singing songs won’t help. Nope. Still not working. I am going to sit here and turn to mush. I am not coming out. Ever. OOOOO what is that? Mommy’s got some sort of lotion in her hands. I want that too. Help me out of the bathtub, now!”

“What a cute kid. You are funny. I like you. Hiiiiiii. You are nice. Hey, you are way to close. Are you going to steal my doll? I don’t like you. Go. Leave. Leave me alone!”

“If mommy calls me to put on my socks, I run away from her. If mommy calls me to do my hair, I run away from her. If mommy calls me to pick up my toys, I run away from her. If mommy sits down on the couch, lazy mama, I run to her.”

“Cheese. Ch-Ch-Ch-Cheese. CHEEEEEEESE. Yes. I want cheese. CHEEEESE. Yes, I am sure. Wait, why are you putting cheese on my bread? I don’t want cheese! Nooooo. I hate cheeeeeeeeese.”       *drops head into the cheese to make her point a little clearer*

“Your hair is pretty. Sooo pretty. Hair is beautiful. So amazing. Hair is shiny. Hair is soft. I want to stroke it. It tickles. It’s funny. I like hair. This is nice. So- O sorry I just had to pull it out of your head mommy. Can’t help it.”

Thanks for reading

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